The personification of the circumstances or the "effect Parents"

When, shortly after birth and spend our first time by dint of instinct, the maturation of our faculties, we can entertain some idea, the first one in our mind is that we have parents. Do not think too precisely, but "we know? we live with people who give us what we need, who come to us when we cry and feel good. This is the essence of that conviction, regardless of the diversity of circumstances in which each individual may be born and how parents or surrogates can touch him. As the idea gains more detail, tells us that these beings depends on our good or our evil, that they have power over what they receive or stop receiving. The core of the idea will leave a powerful imprint on our later life, because not only is the idea that we first appeared, but did so surrounded, impregnated throughout our capacity to feel. Around the figure of our parents not only is the conviction that they determine everything, but love that since our arrival in the world is being born in us. That initial footprint will then lead to varied as varied as the concrete lives of human beings but it is not difficult to see that in all this variety is more or less constant features.

The main one is that one day our parents, hitherto always ready to give everything, say no to any of our requests. Often constitutes the first major drama for any child. Discovered with shock that these beings dread do everything we want. Shakes our world safe and comfortable so far, and even staggers our belief that we want. This drama can be resolved right or wrong. Of course very little at that point we do for our training. It's all for now in the hands of our parents. If it is decided not too bad, and we continued with the stages that usually befall all, the day, too shocking, to discover that our parents are not all-powerful: you can not get all the events in the world (at that point we will have learned that There is "the world?) obedience to His will. By then I will be in full swing our learning, that will gradually passing responsibility to our parents to our own. The big challenge for some great drama, is just that: some time must pass all the responsibility of our parents to our own. At some point we need to start relying on ourselves.

The fact that we need does not mean they always do. Hence the possibility that, because of the parents or by his own, beings and others are overcome pervert. Are inconceivably various possibilities of every life, but the remarkable thing here is that virtually all left a mark, more like a feeling that knowledge: there are around us wishes of which depends on our good and our bad. This impression is not only powerful for being the first to settle in us, but by being impregnated with our deepest feelings. Here comes the heart of the problem, the great challenge before us when, on our own, we must relate to the world: we realize that these wills on which depends our good and our evil is a sense of the past, that not all actually works well, or, if not mature or do not try to mature, still feel that all events in the world depend on almighty wills "we want? or "not like us?. Scheme is simple and childlike. The term suggests not only childish naivety or inexperience also suggests the depth and strength of which was impregnated with us in the beginning of our life.

If we are not recorded what they showed us those first shocking experience: 1) external wills do not always coincide with our desires, and 2) external wills do not have absolute power over reality, and not discovered, further, that not all what happens depends on "external wills?, we can continue our lives as being immature," seeing? some will behind every phenomenon that surrounds us.

The fact that we do not want rain when we wake up feeling that someone decided that "to our bad?. The malfunctioning of a machine will take us to think that "is engaged in angry?. The outcome of a sporting event may suggest that there is a strong will to pull the strings so that everything is as it suits him. Later, any dissatisfaction in the socioeconomic area we "convince? that "the government? determines that things are so, that "we want? as they should love each other, and the result will be resentment, hatred of the government (and possibly to all its successor). In all cases, be judged from the circumstances of the alleged grounds that "someone? want things to be like that. In this perspective guess that instead of acquiring the capacity to change reality, individual or collective drift towards increasing disability, with all the consequences that are to imagine. If you later discover that the country's government can not do all his will because of how's the world we imagine a "world government? made up of groups or nations that they can all they want for their own benefit and for evil of others, including always including us.

And if this is so and nobody prevents emerging as the "government of the universe? God, as incomprehensibly different from what it should be. Perhaps many religious ideas is a far cry from the teachings that originated them, distorted by subjective inclinations of human beings, including the effect of parents plays a key role, and to remodel ideas according to the tastes of those who say "yes ? the belief that meets your innermost inclinations. Given the difficulty of conceiving a part of reality that is not known, we tend to compare or associate with a known part. But this association is greatly exaggerated in some cases, and instead of helping to meet the unknown disfigures so much that actually hinders their knowledge. Perhaps the biggest hype about it happening with the idea of ​​God, conceived repeatedly "image and likeness? a father of this world with purpose and feeling too much like those of a person. By the same procedure, all of our universe can come to be "personified?, Populated with powerful wills that we can not do anything except (if it ever worked before our parents) request and mourn until they give us what we want .

If this path is not possible, only to resign ourselves to be that of a "plan? "We are not leaving? another possibility. This survival of the spirit child can be determined from its roots the way we see and deal with life. For someone more or less mature, the world is like a page where you write, a wide spectrum of possibilities of doing, achieving or not achieving that dream. For someone who did not break the shell of the "parent effect?, The world is a place where we give or not give us what we want. And we give it or not, there from the beginning "someone? (God, leaders, society, people with whom we interact), the duty to give it to us. It is easy to imagine how someone who believes that he will live the world and the people owe him something and are constantly obliged to make him happy, to live every moment throwing unwanted guilt, recrimination instead of giving, rather asked to do, people will discard they want or they want because it believes that fail to meet its obligation, look again and again others once and for all meet why they have to comply. No wonder he is divorced several times, not surprising that misuse drugs out of the state of dissatisfaction in which they live, not surprisingly, steal, because he believes that things "are you?, And the fault is in others they are not given.

Why the human being tends to cling so tightly to a scheme that works as imaginary events? First, because this scheme is not just a mental content, is surrounded by the old feelings, more basic, more intense owned by the individual. Abandon this scheme would be about the same as leaving home: blend meant affection and suddenly exposed to the elements of loneliness and abandonment. We would come up an undesirable lack nigh unbearable. That's one reason why we tend not to leave. We could call it emotional reason. Just as in man there is affection, feeling, knowledge, and also there is no will. Therefore, the difficulty to get rid of "parent effect? also has a cognitive reason and one reason volitional. The reason is simply lack cognitive knowledge. It is very common to ignore that world events are not necessarily that someone has wanted to be so, but that may be true regardless of the will of all, as a simple result of the laws of nature intertwined with the action of multiple wills making power in different directions. All this interplay of cause and effect can generate a reality that nobody wanted, or some imposed their will a little more than others.

If we pay attention and acquire the necessary knowledge, we realize that we live in a reality that is not the default plan of anyone in particular, and in which there is a culprit in particular (as sometimes our parents have considered guilty of not something we wanted). This would mean a simple idea and easy, sweetened by the possibility of blaming others, a representation of reality rather difficult to understand, and in which there is no "guilty? on to download our anger. Reaching it requires an intellectual effort, which can be blocked by the resistance to part of the scheme emotional child, and also obstructed by the third factor, perhaps the most serious face time in order to "live well?: Factor of the will. Because the way we imagine how the world depends as much was said and saw, how we are, what we want, how much we want what we want. If our will is weak, if what we want most is to live comfortable, strive as much as possible, we like, we agree to maintain current "effect parents? for the rest of our days.

So, if we have what we can spend our lives believing that "nobody wanted to give it to us?, That" no one wanted? nor was good to us, that was powerful wills or supernatural evil plans by determining to live as we live. And so we believe we had that "destination? because God intended it given that "we misbehave?. With such ideas, the most undesirable situations could be dyed an intense emotional charge, most venerable, that leads us to accept as being the best and most beautiful of the possibilities. If this immaturity remains permeate all our activities and relationships: we are unable to accept that something "can not be?, Look for" guilty? of the smallest setbacks, and treat everyone as a child is rude to his parents berated them every second not achieve the maximum satisfaction, we will live judging any event in terms of "we want? or "not like us?, try to break their will cry or attacking. This multiplicity of conditions will become the daily life of every person that does not leave that shell intellectual-emotional-volitional ever have to break, and yet we tend to keep as if it were the warmest of the shelters.

It's like being in a house that shelters us and gives us a picture known, but in which no food. Feel more comfortable would always stay in it, but soon discover that these seemingly undesirable conditions growing dissatisfaction suffer, and we know that eventually we will have no chance to live. Life is out. We need only dare to defy the weather, dealing with the unknown, to discover how to get food with our own hands and how to relate to humanity that lives beyond these walls.